Lesson 15: Happiness

Happiness usually comes in the absence of fear.

This is an obvious observation about life. It is virtually impossible to be both happy and scared or happy and frustrated or happy and angry, or, for that matter, happy and depressed. We can experience rare moments of happiness if we are stuck in the other emotions, but it quickly dissolves under the weight of those existing unhappy emotions.

This is why some people look for ways to get some feelings of happiness while in their unhappy conditions by doing extreme things that usually cause fear which is channeled through feelings of excitement. Or they simply find temporary pleasures or relief from their unhappiness through such things as drugs, sexual encounters, or getting lost in TV or games.

So, the obvious answer is, “don’t worry, be happy”. But, unfortunately we can’t control our emotionals and, so, trying to think ourselves out of some emotion never works, even if we are successful at pretending at it. A more solid solution is to change the way we see and react to things, so that they are not so easily threatening, frustrating or worry producing. This can be done to some extent by checking your thoughts and worries against others who may be able to help you get them into a better perspective, but it can usually be done with the aid of a good counselor who is experienced in helping people find their fearful and irrational beliefs and change them so that they can find a higher level of composure in their lives.