When we are stuck in unhappiness in our present life, we tend to obsess on all the failings in our past. When we are content with our present life, the past is, at best, a vague, unintrusive memory.
When things are not right or we are unsatisfied with the way our life is, and we don’t know how to fix it or make it more satisfying, we tend to dwell on our dissatisfaction or unhappiness and seek answers in our minds as to why we are there. The more the unhappiness, the more we tend to dwell on our search of our past in an attempt to explain to ourselves our current dilemma. The problem with this is that the past is gone and cannot be changed, and dwelling in it only causes continuing unhappiness and depression. The only solution to finding our way to happiness is to accept whatever happened in the past and then focus our attention and energy on the present with a commitment to discover what we can do differently to make our future more satisfying.